I find it interesting to hear about the New Years resolutions my friends and family make each January. I sometimes wonder if they're setting themselves up for failure by announcing their intentions to everyone they know. I find the more I make a promise to myself, it becomes my own personal endeavor and I seem to have a better chance of making it into a reality. I know for some people having only themselves to answer to simply doesn't work. They need others to cheer them on to the finish line.
Some would disagree with me and say it's best to inform the world what your goals are in order to make you more accountable and thus more successful. But does it help? I don't think most of our friends and families would get on us and say they were truly disappointed that we gave up on our dreams or didn't reach our goal. They may think it, but for most to come out and say it would be a whole new thing. There may even be some people around you who really don't want you to succeed because it forces them to look at themselves. They may try to sabotage you if they secretly want to achieve the same thing but aren't willing to do the work. A friend of mine who was trying to lose weight said some coworkers at her office started to bring bake goods in each morning after she made her vow to lose weight. I guess misery loves company.
Sometimes I see myself and others making unrealistic or gigantic goals.I know for many people it's all or nothing. Thinking about my goals as doable small things instead of huge daunting changes makes them easier for me to achieve. I try to focus on small things that I can do. For example: If I want more exercise, I won't vow to run a marathon or be in a weight lifting competition but I will walk my dog more or maybe park farther away from the door at the grocery store. I simply do what I call shifting gears. I increase or decrease what I'm already doing. If it's writing more, I plan out small blocks of time to do that, but I have a life and saying I'm not going to do anything until I get a book written, is crazy. Soon I become resentful and writing becomes a chore where my ideas won't flow. When that happens, I know I need to shift into a lower gear.
The month is almost over and for some their New Year resolutions are already tucked back in the closet only to be brought out again next year. I'm hope yours are still in focus and you're still working on them. For me it's all about shifting gears and getting there one way or another. Remember you're already in the driver's seat and you don't have to be in fourth gear or reverse. As long as you get out of neutral and go forward you'll end up where you want to be.
Donna
If you would like to be notified in an email about the release dates of my books go to: https://donnalovitz.com/contact/
These are my books:
The Keys to Paradise (A Tropical Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084243
Only a Heartbeat Away (A Modern History Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084235
Revenge in a Heartbeat (A Modern History Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084227
Heartbeat of Desire (A Modern History Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084219
Ryley (A Christmas Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084200
I promise not to share your email address with others and I won't email you to death.
Recently a friend of mine called and expressed that winter was bringing her down. Even though neither of us are licensed physiologists, we discussed at length what the possibilities were behind her apparent case of the blues. It didn't take too long to figure out there is more than one reason a person gets depressed other than the cold weather. There are several serious unavoidable events in everyone's life like death, Illness, financial and of course relationship problems that impact our lives and can always leave a person down in the dumps.
Personally, if I can't immediately put my finger on the cause of my low spirits, the culprit is usually one or both of the following: I don't feel in control of my life for some reason or I have nothing to look forward to in the near or distant future.
But my friend's problem somehow didn't fit the bill of the things I've mentioned above. So we continued to discuss her feelings and after a while it occurred to me there were a lot of negative people she had to deal with on a regular basis. We both agreed that her association with these individuals was obviously working on her self-esteem, attitude and well being.
Knowing it wasn't an option to stop all contact with these pessimistic people, we came up with a plan to help her out. Together we made a list of her positive attributes along with her aspiring dreams and I told her to keep a copy in her desk drawer at work and on her phone. After a trying episode with a "Negative Nelly," I suggested she read the list to herself. I also told her to try and avoid those miserable souls whenever possible. And if she encountered them and felt sad, she was to schedule something self indulgent — a long bath, manicure, a walk, or spend time with a dear person or a loved pet.
I know steering clear of some people isn't always possible. But all of us desire to be accepted and want to be associated with those who lift us up somehow. People who take the positive road and radiate their own optimism enough to pass it on to those around them. I always gage relationships on how I feel after I leave someone. Do I feel special or valued? Or do I feel ordinary or generic? Am I feeling drug down or inspired?
Seeing how my positivity effects myself and others, I'm going try and pass on good vibes to everyone around me. I hope you will strive to do so, too!
These are my books:
Only a Heartbeat Away (A Modern History Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084235
Revenge in a Heartbeat (A Modern History Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084227
Heartbeat of Desire (A Modern History Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084219
Ryley (A Christmas Romance) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734084200
If you would like to be notified in an email about the release dates of my books go to: https://donnalovitz.com/contact/
I promise not to give your email address to others and I won't email you to death.